mY spEciAL pLaCE

it had been a very long time since my last post……maybe this will be the last post in this semester…….

i’ve been bzing for this semester…….from the beginning till now…..dont know wat am i bzing for…….juz keep bzing and dont hav my own time to do my own things……..even shopping oso……ai..

but luckily…..now ……..all d events…..tests….assignments……presentations….are finished…..i can onli concentrate on final…..although final is due on next week..meaning….i’ve got no time to play……..arrggg…..

yesterday……went to seremban wif jenna, bao jing, yenling, li fen, zenn way……watch stupid "teenage mutant ninja turtle"…..haha…..when d movie finished………all little kids running out of the cinema……..haha…..damn cute……after that..we went to hav our delicious dinner……..curry chicken……….omg….damn nice………

after final…..will be rural camp…….hope everything will be fine………after this…….next semester events coming up…….omg……..pulau pangkor……..tmn negara……inti super idol…… amazing maze………wat else?? dont know…..juz hope everything can go on well………..

no mood at all……..k….thats for today blog…..haha….i know u all been viewing my blog.someone even said boring………cheh….i’m sincerely writing all this loh………stupid……..hahaha……..btw………thx for viewing a………..

exhausted….all my energy ald used in this 3 dayz two nights "YOUTH CAMP"…..at 1st..i felt quite interesting and quite challeging to become a program master for this kind of huge event…..so i tried…this whole semester i’d been bzing for this camp……yet…juz a short period……it ended…..

this 3 dayz….no matter when…..we,as program master keep bzing until d last minute…….things tat we need to arrange…..we need to prepare…..we need to think…..omg……really exhausted…not onli physically…but oso mentally…..

dont know y……damn tired but still hope tat i can record down wat’s in youth camp…..

those participants are from independent high school…….so this camp oso in chinese…..wat made me felt touching was when d presentation time…..when every gp presented their sketch…then we decided to let d committees to dance for them…..then who knows…..every participants juz stand up and dance together…..u can imagine tat atmosphere tat time…..touch…..1st time i felt like crying in this camp……

101 participants not included committees , facilitators and helpers…..every mornign dance together….eat together…nice…..

d worst nightmare in this camp shud be d treasure hunt things……4 of us…as program master….responsible to all d events flow and oso games….who knows when we set up d treasure hunt things…..everythings mess up……..we used 1-2 hours….standing and running under the sun ,juz for setting up d treasure hunt….really tired tat time…….all of us almost give up……but in the end we decided to continue……cannot…….for me…..if i give up…..means i lose……

yesterday night……last night for them in inti………abt 2am……all of them still in excited mood…keep asking us to dance again and again……but i felt so happy tat they din feel bored in this camp…..they juz keep bargaining wif us ……keep shouting…cheering when we danced….i think….tat time shud be the happiest time in this camp…..

today……last day…..b4 they left…..there’s a sharing time……dont know y………when i sat down ……..felt like crying……..then due to limited time…..so we decided cancel d sharing part…juz gave all d committees to shake their hands wif the participant to say goodbye…..omg..tat time……..i saw many ppl crying……..then when those participants wanted to hug me…….i shocked….’coz i’m a program master…….they shudnt be close wif me as i din play wif them…….then more and more ppl hugging me…..i felt so happy and touching…..at this time…..i relaly felt like crying…..but cant…..haha…actually i felt like crying not onli ‘coz of this…….’coz i also finished this huge burden…….this whole semeseter i’d been bz like a cow…….now……finally can juz concentrate on rural camp…..and oso my own events for next semester…….tired…..this youth camp juz like rural camp……both camp relaly great……but wat is d weakness is tat the time period too short…….3 dayz 2 nights…….if we’ve got more time…….i think all of us will be a big family…….until now…….i still keep thinking of this camp……..d hug tat those participants gave  touched my heart….maybe i will forget who they are…….but the feeling i wont forget………YOUTH CAMP ‘07……..SUCCEESS……..

really felt sorry to those oc or emcee…..i really felt tat we din do it well…..\there’s alway things that crops out and 4 of us will have to solve it……..so the time keep delaying…….and d emcee need to talk many things to help us…thx all……..

it had been a long time since my previous blog……this few weeks were really torturing…..many things to do…..omg……

youth camp approaching…..rock climbing juz finish…….rural camp coming……and next semester two events still in progress….need to prepare many things now……tired…..everyday not enough sleeping……

this few weeks many things like happening together…..many bad things happen……many things that shudnt happen happened…..ai…..wat to do?? all i need to do is juz step out from it…..dont think too much then we will be happier rite?? ha…..thats wat i think……

suddenly seems like lost in this place…….ai ……..everythings seems like to be fake……as i mentioned b4……now…..still hav this kind of thinking….

nvm………think possitively…….be more optimistic….life will be easier…….

rock climbing…….an extraordinary events……..haha……an exciting event…..luckily i joined d 2nd time…..it was really great….finally attempted to climb till d top……..hehehe……so happy……

tmn negara…….pulau pangkor……..next semester really tough…..hope can organize this two events well………work well wif my partners and my committees……rite?? haha……we can make it…….

now waiting to go bec jb…..happy……..

actually yesterday midnight i oso wrote a blog…….which is not on frenster……really dont know who can i talk wif……….so write on a blog which onli fewer ppl know will help me to express…..many things happen during this semester…….meetings….after so many meetings in inti………i felt tat actually all meetings oso d same……..everyone seems like pretending to be fair……but in d end…….not fair…….

everything ald been affirmed by those who called leader…..then we juz like a puppet……ai…..dont know how to express wat i felt…….no matter wats d result out……definitely suit those who called leader……this time……i learnt how to accept things that i dont like……things that i MUST accept…….

no matter wad……ppl will think that they are the best….they are the one who really have d leadership skill…….no matter where i am…….where i belong…….definitely see all this kind of persons……but until now…….i juz met one person which will make everyone listen to him…..no matter wat decision he made…..no matter wat he did……he would definitely make everyone proud…….he wont neglect anyone…….he will try to make everyone feel great…..he make those ppl who are alway been neglected feel their existence…….this is very important to be a leader……onli him make everyone believe in him….

nvm…….no matter wat…….result out…….i shud accept wat ald done……although there were still many things i din agree…..but who cares?we are those person who ald in charged by other ppl………maybe those "feeling" hav to keep it……..

try to accept everything now………shudnt talk so much……..

long time din write blog ald….today…..exhausted….meeting meeting….rock climbing counter open….thx xiao qing….thx huiying…thx patricia for giving me foods and drinks……so warm……

this few dayz….i really really felt damn angry abt many things…..club….event….frens…..dont know how to solve it…many things pending….wait for me to settle it…..wate for me to do it….dont know how…..smre ……ai……

thos ppl who dont believe in our ability…..some times …..i really felt tat if u all really dont dare to let go…….come bec and organize it urself……if u all really think tat u r the best……come…..when there’s any things or event fail…..pls….dont talk badly behind ppl……dont think that other ppl fail ‘coz they din follow u all or ask u all……ok?sometime, pls go and ask other ppl how they felt abt u all……dont think that u all r the best……..maybe this is onli my own opinion….but wat  i said really truth…….feel angry??

smre…pls dont be a hypocrite…..think …..think hardly wat had u said to this person…..and after that….wat had u done….i know i cant directly mention who is this or who is tat…..’coz for me……i still feel tat we still can befren…..maybe after u all seeing this…..u all wont feel like tat….but  i really treasure wat we r now….

jiajia…sometimes i really dotn knwo how to say…..maybe juz like wat u said….proved to them……i will…….

i really cant tolerate any more……many things happen……..many things need to be done……many things oso need to be maintained…..dont know wat to do……maybe i ald prove tat i’m not a superman…….cant do many things in a same time…….exhausted…….tired…….sad……angry….frustrated….

this week is d recruitment week of rural camp…..as d 4th rural camp committee…it’’s our responsibility for us to put in 100% effort to recruit as much member as possible…..everyone is tired,but never give up…..now more and more ppl fell sick…juz d beginning…..4th rc will be stronger than 4…..rite?

everything come in very fast….from the time we join 3rd rc…..then training….final training…xia xiang…..until we r bec…..then time to think whether join again o not…..then election….now 4th rc committee form…then recruitment…..everything was in a rush……but there were many many many sweet memories inside….when i realised that this 4th rc will have different person, funny feeling……everything different……ppl are different….things are different…..but i hoep taht the objectives and d happy time will b the same ……..

this semester…as i mentioned thousand of time……i’m really bz…..but now two burdens down……although there are many things left….but i’m glad of having all this experiences….

really tired…..every not enough sleep……cannot skip class….must listen to d lecture……..tired……wat a tiring semester…….luckily there are frens who concern abt me…..some times cook for me…..some time give me some soups…and some drinks……..so sweet…..thx u guys….and oso those SMSes from u guys…..encourage me to do even better…thx….

everyone must take care urself ya……buck up..

blog again. this few dayz were really tiring. too many things hav to be done….yet not time for us to rest…..last saturday celebration…after viewing those comments, feel tat i’d hurt those ppl indirectly…sorry ya…not purposely….but during d celebration….we really cant control our temper wad…..so juz let it be…..

monday was d rural camp election day….juz one hour b4 d election i received d news tat d mount kk trip will due on this semester break…last time they said postponed to next semester break…but suddenly change…so everything was in a mess….dont know wat to do….rc due on sem break….mount kk sem break too…..crash…but ‘coz of those rc ppl….they are so excited of joining d committee team….our bond…i decided to join again……at last been selected as academic gp leader….we’re very happy as we can join again….not ‘coz we’ve been selected as committee….as i know…..most of us would like to be a member again rather than committee….those who cant join again….really sad abt this….really hope everyone can go….but as for rules…ai….

exhibition week…..busy…but happy.haha…everyone from adventure club……pls…..i’m still adventure club members…adventure club’s committee….nothing will change this k…..as i know…….i was borned from this club……so nothing can change this…pls dont say those silly things again k….

hope our events will be able to run smoothly and successfully ya…..haha

tired…..juz nwo around 1pm juz bec from seremban….yesterday around 30 of us….RURAL CAMP frens went to d celebration of RC…..which was organized by 9 fairies….i’m involved in it too….at 1st……we ald delayed almost one hour…which make me feel so terrible…but that’s not under our control as there were more and more ppl coming late……at last i decided not to wait anymore….then onli leave……so very sorry for those who were waiting…

this ald make my mood extremely down…no mood to do anything again….but hav to continue and run d program….then suddenly our committees disappear…this make d 9 fairies really really angry…..one of us angry until wanna end d program directly…..but we juz keep encouraging each other and try not to think so much as juz finish our parts……so we continue….at this moment,i was so so so angry…..partner crying….wat can i do….other ppl juz continue to do their things…we cant fail this program….so everyone being so strong…..my anger almost  influence me….but try not to think of those things….so i keep doing and doing and doing…..

at last they said everything were a trick….tat time….everyoen seems like felt so relax…but for me……wat had done ald done…..wat had said ald said……cant change….but as for this celebration…..try to control own temper was the best way to solve…..so din say anything……..

but luckily everyone still can try to stay in a very high mood……although d program flow really sucks…..so very sorry….as tat time….when all of them left…..not ‘coz of we dont know wat we gonna do…..tat time 9 of us were really realy really angry……we dont know y we need to tolerate all this….we were so tired and stress of doing all this for the weeks…yet everythings turn up to be like this….wat we done seems like empty…..everyone juz know to look into those wat we fail to do…….din look upon wat we had done…..tired…..inside and outside….once i really think tat no 2nd time for me to d RC……disappointed….we done so much….but wat i get?? "i really think u all din organize well"….ok……this sentence keep reminding me tat night…..9 of us really dont know wat can we do to make this so called " organized well"…………nvm……juz let it go……..

try to forget all this incidence……..at least…….i hope in my memory….RC is good…..not bad…..onli good……so happy ya….

yeah…..finally can online…..now in inti….bec to my campus life again….this semester…full of ambitious….full of things that i want to do…but dont know whether can cope wif it or not….

there’s sth i wanted to write in my blog long long time ago….but no chance….now finally can ady….that’s rural camp….

haha….at 1st…i was really really tired abt this camp….hate it….think tat this camp wasted my time…which is oso meaningless….those ppl were oso boring…which make me feel so irritating…..

until i went to d final training which was due on 18th of december 2006….the 1st day..i tot that i was so stupid tat i came to this final training..i can ran away from this….but due to d responsibility, i had to come….the 1st day was damn tiring….dont know y….juz tiring of doing so many things a day…especially learning d main theme song…omg….damn tired..

2nd day…i felt a little bit interesting as everyone work hard together….woke up early in d morning together….ran faster together…eat together…all work so hard juz for d same goal…. all this make me felt tat it really included some special meaning inside this camp…..

d 3rd day…which was the craziest day….there was an opening ceremony…all of us so afraid of it…’coz we represent ma hua…hav to behave well…at last we training and training and training….then performing to those officers of inti….opening ceremony finish….at night there’s a entertainment time….omg….everyone dance until crazy….although in d air-cond room….but everyone sweaty….haha…after that sharing time….o…touching….some ppl crying…some ppl listening….some ppl talking….that day make me felt in love wif this camp….which i felt tat everyone really working hard juz to hit the goal together…

finally went to d rural site….at 1st….tiring again….after those little kids came….everything change…..everything become so meaningful….everything become worth…..everything become so happy….even though tired….when we saw those kids laughing…playing…dancing…sleeping…every tiredness will become happiness….

when the last day finally arrived….most of us will think tat y juz 3 dayz….y cant be a little bit longer….but yet…still hav to leave….at d journey of returning to inti, we singing,laughing,shouting…..haha….happy…..

as i think tat everything had come to d end….those kids call me, sms me….haha….so funny when u talk to a standard 5 kids……they are so innocent….so naive….everything become so pure…hahahahahha…..and my foster brother is so so so cute…..hahahah….and oso my foster sister….haha….

everything become so good…become so happy…..juz now those kids oso came to inti….we had dinner together…haha….cutie….hahahah…….

this semester maybe will become the busiest semester to me…hope everything will be fine…especially my result….

happy new year….

today i went bec to my high school to c those junior having rehearsal…juz graduated one year, but seems like i’ve ald very old…when i watched them having rehearsal,so many memories filling all my heart…..those days….we practised together…..we were bzing d concert together…..eat together…..played together….so many memories…so happy…..String Orchestra….now everyone left……all over the world……

when saw them playing those pieces, suddenly feel so warm……ald long long time din listen this kind of musiz….ald long long time din sing our song……SO song…..long long time din realise tat working together are so happy……everyone working together juz for one goal……success of d concert…..

everyone played happily…….played sadly……so happy…….but now…..no…ald got no chance to go thru all this……no musiz life……no string instruments…..sad…..when u know tat d result of practising whole year at d end of this year were good……..the kind of feeling really cant describe…..outsiders wont understand all this kind of feelings…..when many ppl watch d concert….d happiness….d excited…..so touching….

today …….watching all of those "used to be" kids playing those hard pieces…..feeling so great…..d standard of this club ald improve tremendously…..happily….good luck string orchestra….

i’m so sad tat cant watch u all perform this sunday…….really damn sad….although today watched u all having rehearsal…….but d enviroment is different….really……..’coz of rural camp….i lost this chance to be an audience watching u all performing…..next year…hav to wait another year….so sad..really……

hope u all hav a successs concert…….good luck……